A different kind of mirror man

Hi guys.

I’ve had a day of self reflection today. Yes, a little bit of feeling sorry for myself too, but, generally a good look at myself. As you know, I spend a lot of time looking in the mirror. Today I looked a little bit deeper.

I’ve come a hell of a long way and I like where I am. I’ve got no intention of going back to where I used to be and as a good friend said to me on fb, ‘I’m reading the story of a man mending himself’. My jigsaw puzzle was thrown on the ground and little by little, piece by piece, I’m putting myself back together again. I’m going to have difficult days, but, the thing is, they are difficult days within the context of many, many more victorious and overcoming days. My grapes are being crushed, my petals are being pressed and my gold is in the refiners fire, but, through the processes my analogies suggest, these tough times produce good wine, sweet perfume and pure gold.

I’m going to make it. I’m not in a sprint, this is a race ‘for life’ and by God’s grace I will overcome my fears and clear the fog in my head. I can and I will get a job or earn my way once again. I used to think (with regard to health) my life was over. I’ve proven to myself that was a lie. My joblessness and assumed lack of something to offer to the job market is just one more lie I need to disprove. My mantra has always been “I Can Do It…!” It’s time I showed that employment or an ability to earn, is no different to my health/exercise.

Thank you for all your responses, words of encouragement and support here and on fb to yesterday’s post. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate them and how much they spur me on. Time for me to hit the hay as I have an appointment with a seriously sweatie tee shirt tomorrow and maybe a few job applications 🙂

Adios amigos,

Paul (Kracker)



About paulbentley

My name is Paul Bentley and I started my blog in May 2011. I live in Liverpool in the North West of England, UK – I have always had ‘issues’ with my weight! When I got to 27st 13lbs (177kgs or 391lbs) I finally decided that ‘enough is enough’ and I need to make changes. As part of the process I decided I need to make myself accountable, so I’ve decided to be accountable to you. Thanks for offering ;-)
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9 Responses to A different kind of mirror man

  1. mark78130 says:

    Praying for you my friend!

  2. cbailey74 says:

    What a fantastic post!

  3. Shonnie says:

    You have come a LONG way and should be very proud. Hey … I can’t find where you answered about which posts. I know you did it but … I can’t find it. 😦

  4. K Tobin says:

    Great attitude! Positive thinking is the key to success.

    • paulbentley says:

      Thanks Keith. I guess becoming more and more positive, or getting longer periods of sustained positivity is a process. My blip was a couple of days. Not too shabby!

      Thanks for the encouraging posts!!!

  5. You’re awesome Paul! We all have our hard days but it’s so important to remember the great ones 🙂

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