I was going to apologies for the above mentioned moans, but, do you know what, I’m not going to! I’m being real. If I’m having a bad day, I’m having a bad day and I’m going to tell you about it. What’s the point of having a blog if I’m being economical with the truth. I hope you carry on reading, I want you to carry on reading, but, I’m going to speak my mind and be honest about my day, feelings etc. Get me? Got me? Good. Vamos!!!
Yesterday was a bit of a testing day. I decided not to exercise after my 11.5k run the day before. I went out, did a bit of shopping and then came home and watched The Open (golf) on tv. In the evening, Jan and I were going to a wedding party and I was a bit worried about alcohol and food consumption. Now thankfully when it comes to booze I can ‘take it or leave it’, but, would I go mad on the buffet, that was the question. Interestingly, they had a kind of breakfast ciabatta vibe, so apart from the butter, it was bacon, eggs and sausage. I had one, it tasted great and I didn’t go back for seconds. No beer (diet coke all night), one trip down the food line, job done, I was pleased, I passed the test, yay me 🙂
Today (Sunday) has been a different story. The weather is grim and I was really looking forward to going for a walk/hike up Snowdon tomorrow with Jan and a few friends, I’ve even bought myself some walking poles. The forecast is even worse for tomorrow so it’s off, gutted 😦 so I took solace in several pieces of home made Date & Walnut Cake. Look, it wasn’t several pieces, I’ve basically eaten all of it. What the heck, thought I, we may as well have a chippy tea, so we did. I wasn’t too bad, I only had some fried rice and a steak & kidney pie, but, it was my worst ‘no event/treat’ eating since I started on my journey. I won’t lie to you, I feel pretty crap about it and all I can think about is the amount of weight I woulda/coulda/shoulda lost, that I’m not know going to lose this month.
I’m still sure I’m not on a slippery slope or anything. I still want to train, still want to sweat, still want to have exercise in my life, but, I’m fed up of analysing and calculating and lamenting everything that I eat, plus I’m fed up of ‘wanting’ to eat junk and denying myself.
You can have all the right ideas and philosophies you want. Scales may be evil. This may not be about weight loss, but, when push comes to shove losing weight (still) becomes such a focus, such an issue. It’s ‘doing my head in’ as we say here in Liverpool.
What do you think about this for a thought process. I’ve started to ponder what my ‘net loss’ will be for the month. In other words, say I have a good starting third to the month and I’m thinking I must have lost say 7lbs. In the second third I may not do so well and I think I’ve gained say 3lbs (net loss 4lbs). If I put in a good last third I may lose 10lbs, so, 7 – 3 + 10 = 14lbs net loss for the month. So let’s say I get weighed at the end of the month and indeed I have lost 14lbs, I’ll see that as a net loss. I may have lost more, but, my blips/indiscretions/treats, call them what you will, reduced my loss overall. Am I mad for thinking like that? Am I just feeding in to the weight loss mentality that I ‘oh so hate’? I think I am (on both counts), but, a part of me thinks it’s okay. Sheeesh!
Maybe I’ve just got to accept and move on. Take the good with the bad, but, with the sure and certain knowledge that I am STILL a changed man and my lifestyle IN NO WAY resembles that of the one I had three months ago. That’s the way I want to think and writing this down helps me think it. Thanks for listening (reading) and thanks as ever for your comments and posts here on the blog and on fb. Right I’m off. I wonder if there are any crumbs of that cake left… 😉
I Can Do It!!!!!