Devastated :-(

Go on Paul, you know you want too...

Yep, I know I missed another post and I really am sorry. I’m ‘gutted’ about it because I really, really, want to post daily, but hey, it is what is. We move on, we move up and we don’t dwell on mistakes or hiccups. This is not why I am devastated!

I am devastated for one reason and one reason only. My weight. Or, more specifically. What the scales told me my weight was when I stepped on them today.

I’m so disappointed and upset with myself. As you know, I get weighed once a month and because Paco was visiting, I decided to weigh a few days early. That was last Friday 24th June and I weighed 23st 07lbs /// 330lbs /// 149kgs. I was thrilled, I was elated, I was ‘over the moon’. I’d beaten my target for the month and I was early. It couldn’t have been any better.

Today, less than one week later, my gym programme referral officer needed to weigh me. I asked not too, but reluctantly I agreed. 24st 07lbs /// 344lbs /// 156kgs. I could not believe my eyes!!! How could it be? How could I have put on one stone in weight in such a short period of time, five days? Let’s do the math.

To gain fourteen pounds in weight, I would need to consume 49,000 calories. That’s 9,800 calories per day over and above my normal calorific intake/expenditure. In that period, I ran a 5k, I went to the gym twice and I walked a heck of a lot of miles. Granted, because Paco was here, I ate lots of food and I drank lots of beer, but 49,000 calories, surely not.

This was my first mini setback since starting my ‘healthier’ lifestyle and I was ‘devoed’, I was gutted, I was confused. Brenda (my referral officer) tried to reassure me, but, it was no good. I could not believe my eyes. Fourteen pounds!! How on earth could this be? The scales, the scales had got me!!!!!

I finished up chatting to Brenda and I went into the gym for a cardio session. Only an hour as I had other commitments, but, it was a great session. I stepped out of the gym and Helen (another referral officer) was in the referral room. I told her my story and she asked me to get on the scales again. 154kgs. What the heck is going on I asked Helen. Obviously, she was uncertain, but she did seem to think I could have excess water retention due to the beer.

I was slightly more at ease when I saw the 154kgs. If I’ve really lost 2kgs by doing one hours cardio, then hopefully I can get rid of the rest in double quick time too. Man this is so frustrating!!!

Do you see what has happened though? Can you read the situation? What did I do that I shouldn’t have done? On what did I step foot? Yes, you guessed it. THE SCALES FROM HELL. Scales are eeeeevilllllllll!!!!! Today has confirmed it even more (if it needed to be confirmed further). Why didn’t I stick to my guns and just say no to Brenda. Instead, I climb on board the one foot square plate and now look at me 😦

Look, that was this morning and it’s now the night. I’ve thunk long and hard about it and I’m okay, well I’m okay(ish). The wheels are not off the train. I’m not eating a big bar of dairy milk as we speak. I’m just still confused and disappointed.

I refer you back to the first paragraph of this post re mistakes and hiccups. The thing is though, with regard to this, I don’t think I’ve made a mistake or a hiccup, so, I’ve got to just get up and over this hurdle, head wreck or whatever and carry on.

Man I hate scales!!!

Got to go. I need my bed. More on this tomorrow no doubt!!!

Laters alligators,

Paul (Kracker)

“I Can (still) Do It…!” 🙂

Ps – Big thanks to Michael, Pam, Jan, Brenda and Helen for the post weigh pep talks.