Lest I forget…

Just remember why and it will be okay 🙂

I’m not on a diet. I’m not trying to lose weight. I want to lose weight, I’m going to lose weight, but, I’m not focused on a diet or weight loss – Remember!!!!!!!!

If you read my blog regularly, you will know I’ve said that before. I’m not stuck for things to blog about. I’m not trying to ram my new found philosophy down anybodies throat. With this post, I’m actually just trying to remind myself why I’m here and fend off feelings of disappointment which have steadily built up between yesterday and today.

Unfortunately I was unable to go to the gym today (or yesterday). That’s two days ‘on the bounce’ (consecutively). Both days had their reasons, legitimate reasons. It wasn’t a case of me just deciding not to go, now that would have been different. No, I actually couldn’t go to the gym. So why do I feel so, so frustrated and disappointed? Why am I getting so concerned about not losing as much weight as I would have done if I would have had two more gym sessions this week? Why? I’ll tell you why. It’s because I’ve forgotten this is a life change not a diet. I don’t mean I’ve totally forgotten, I mean I’ve just allowed myself to be drawn in to the weight loss trap. I’ve probably been in the trap for a week or more, but I was doing well, so I didn’t know. The irony is, it’s actually my successes that has made me falter. like I said, I’ve been doing so well! Gym 6-7 days a week, evening 2.5k walks with family and friends, the occasional ‘joddle’ and 24lbs lost at my first monthly weigh in. Too good maybe.

Time to take a step outside the bubble and remember why I’m here. Remember what I want for my life. It’s not a ‘number of sessions in the gym’, or, a constant scale checking for drops and success built around ‘Biggest Loser’ type big numbers. No, it’s about me. It’s about Jan and the kids. It’s about living till a ripe old age and still having the use of my arms and legs. It’s about regular physical activity/exercise. It’s about a healthy attitude towards food and accepting that sometimes I’ll eat fat full, sugar full, ‘to die for’ meals and desserts. Time to clear my mind of guilt for not going (to the gym) and stop worrying about the possible lack of weight loss consequences. Even without the two gym sessions, my life this week is a million miles away from that same life 5-6 weeks a go. Oops, nearly cried then, steady Paul 🙂 As I write this blog, I’m sitting at my desk in a denim shirt that looks huge on me. The same shirt I was busting out of and shoved to the back of the wardrobe ‘until it fits me again’.

I am doing just fine. I want to be healthy, I want to be active and I don’t want that sedentary life I was so entrenched in. So what! I missed the gym, big deal! It was for good reason. Stop worrying and face up to tomorrow with a smile on your face and a joddle in your step. You see it’s true though. I am a changed man and I have to remember that. Isn’t it horrible. Horrible just how easy it is to be pulled back towards old habits and old thought processes. Even those which have an appearance of being a good thing. My old diet mentality was NOT a good thing and God knows I don’t want to go there again. If I do it’s curtains.

I’m here for the long haul baby. I’m a new man with a new attitude and I’m not going to be drawn back to a diet/scale mentality – Diets Don’t Work! Lifestyle change does. Consider yourself told!

Tonight’s post has been me, speaking to me. I consider myself told. Thanks for listening.

Adios amigos,

Paul (Kracker)

Repeat after me, “I Can Do It…!”


About paulbentley

My name is Paul Bentley and I started my blog in May 2011. I live in Liverpool in the North West of England, UK – I have always had ‘issues’ with my weight! When I got to 27st 13lbs (177kgs or 391lbs) I finally decided that ‘enough is enough’ and I need to make changes. As part of the process I decided I need to make myself accountable, so I’ve decided to be accountable to you. Thanks for offering ;-)
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7 Responses to Lest I forget…

  1. kitchentutor says:

    Keep on keepin’ on!!! Great post!

  2. EXACTLY! 😀

    You just need to do the good things like eating right and exercising more than you do the bad things.

    Heck, I think 6-7 times a week is a bit harsh. I try to get 5 bike rides a week but when I get too weak or tired, I’ll even lower that a bit.

    It will be interesting to see how I handle maintenance once I finally hit my goal weight.

    I guess at that point I will know if I have truly kicked some of my bad habits away. Although I guess I can already say I have made some habit changes since I’ve been on this diet/lifestyle change for almost 15 months.

    Did you ever ask Optifast loser about his bike?

    • paulbentley says:

      Hi J, You have definitely kicked some habits if it’s been 15 months, definitely!!! I’m not quite two months in yet (since I got serious) and I look forward to being 15 months old in the plight.

      What is your target weight?

      Also, I don’t know who ‘Optifast loser’ is.

      Keep up the fight,


  3. Team Oyeniyi says:

    You have it in that phrase – lifestyle changes!!!

    Keep on keeping on my friend – yes, you can!

  4. My final weight will be around 170. Maybe a little less because I know I will gain some back as I add some foods back on the menu.

    There is a link to Optifastloser on the right of my site. He was much larger than me when he purchased a bike so he would have more info on which bike would be best although we are both in the US so you probably have different stores and producers over there.

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